I have to say the most difficult thing during this whole nightmare is knowing my bonus daughter has her rights removed due to a lie about abuse started by her mother. The Biomom accuses me of abusing her child which in return she uses that lie to keep her child from my husband. I hurt and my husband hurts as well. But what hurts the most is knowing my bonus daughter has her rights removed due to her mothers lies.. Lately I’ve been looking into Buddha and his thoughts about life. I do not believe in god nor do I want to label myself as Baptist which was the religion I was raised on. Nothing good came from being in church nor believing in god that I was forced to believe in. All through my life I’ve been searching for peace. I wasn’t sure if I could ever find peace about certain things in my life nor about our step family situation. But as I look into Buddha and his sayings things really hit home for me.
Some of Buddhas sayings really have helped me. Such as “holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal” I held alot of anger towards the Biomom and how she continues to manipulate my bonus daughter. Forget the hell she put me through and still does. I was giving her the power to hurt me. It made me physically sick. From panic attacks to anxiety on an almost daily basis. In 2011 I had to make a choice weather or not to allow her to drag me through this hell or find where I stand no matter what she says about me, does to my husband, nor my bonus daughter. That’s her life and if that’s how she wants to treat people then I have to let that go. It does anger me but it can’t control me. So for now it’s time to find peace during this nightmare.